Come Visit Three Mile Allan!

So I guess I’ll join in the fun. I’ve done a little maintenance around here, cleaning up the rats and bugs and unsolicited (note: UNsolicited) gay porn comments. I fumigated them all with the simple fix of akismet. So as of right now, this blog is back alive.

A few random comments to tide me over before I get down to real blogging.

-I may start putting pics up when i get a new digital camera. But… I’m broke as hell so don’t count on it.

-I watched quite a few movies on Christmas Day, one of which was Invincible. I think I had chills in my spine for a significant portion of the movie. Invincible is probably the greatest underdog story turned movie of my generation. Cool Runnings comes a close second.

-The Paris concert Oasis played recently for their Stop the Clocks promotion is exactly the kind of jolt that my Oasis fandom needed. The new acoustic variations on old classics plus an acoustic Strawberry Fields is like pure magic dust sprinkled on my face. Plus Noel ended the concert with Married with Children which has the lyrics, “Goodbye, I’m going home… ” I love when he does that (if he has ever before…).

-Y’know, for some odd reason, I think I have more fun when the Bears are fighting for their playoff lives rather than 13-2 with home field advantage through the NFC already clinched. I enjoy when the Bears are juuuust mediocre enough. If the Bears end up losing in the playoffs without an exciting victory, I think it might be anti-climactic.
-I’ve always been a believer in Grossman, for better or for worse.
- I’ve had a hard time getting attached to the new Bulls. I think I enjoyed watching Tyson Chandler more than I’d like to admit. (BTW, I think we all agree now that the Brand trade set the Bulls back half a decade.)

-It’s kind of weird working back in Glendale Heights again. I’m still sorting through my feelings on this. The big upside is that my barber is literally down the street from my work place. Good barbers are hard to find.

-I don’t need for you to say you’re sorry, goodbye I’m going home.

Yeah so this past month or so has been a wee bit rough on me. This post isn’t really for feelings or anything like that, just more of an explanation of what’s happened and what may happen, just so I don’t have to explain so often to friends/family/etc. Sort of a FAQ, I guess. Once this explanation is out of the way I can finally move on to more trivial things. The subjects I enjoy. Like relating tv to sports or vice versa. Is there a real world or hollywood version of the Zidane headbutt? I’ve racked my brain and the best answer I can come up with is Tom Cruise. Huge international star on the tail end of his career melting down (aka displaying his sick love) on the biggest stage (The Oprah Winfrey Show) turning him from a highly celebrated actor to nothing but a tabloid joke. Before this incident, Tom Cruise was untouchable despite the small bits of craziness he displayed when touting his crazy alien religion. This parallels with Zidane’s small cuckoo moments like when he lost his temper stomping on a Saudi Arabian player, or when he hears voices in his head telling him he will lead France to glory….

But I digress….

There are only so many times I can say to people “Ah don’t worry about it, I’ll explain it all in my blog real soon.” before they stop believing that I’ll do it.

I got the pictures a week ago.

On with the show…

Q: So WTF is the pancreas for anyways?

According to Wikipedia, “The pancreas produces enzymes that break down all categories of digestible foods (exocrine pancreas) and secretes hormones that affect carbohydrate metabolism (endocrine pancreas).”

or… It makes the juice the melts down the foods so body can live off mush.

Q: So dude, why aren’t you drinking beer?

Because I’m a prude. And because alcohol and/or a high intake of fat in one sitting can easily trigger pancreatitis for me. Avacado and/or a nasty amount of mayo are almost guaranteed to give me some pain.

Q: Can’t you have it just taken out?

Most people confuse gallbladder and appendix with the pancreas. Not the same. But anyway, yes I have found out that you can live without a pancreas in extreme circumstances, but most definitely as a last resort. If I do have the pancreas removed then my lifestyle would be greatly affected as I would have to take multiple insulin shots a day. I’m not sure if daily life would be affected in other ways beyond that, but my doctor said that option is waaaaay down the road so don’t focus on it.

As a side note, I have already taken my gallbladder out in relation to pancreatitis. Doctors believed that the gallbladder was affecting the pancreas in a negative way. Honestly I’m very fuzzy on the reasoning behind the motivation for doing this as it was three years ago.

Q: What does the pain feel like? How much does it hurt?

I find it kind of hard to answer this question because I don’t want to exagerrate what I’m experiencing but at the same time I don’t want to downplay it either.

When I’m having acute pain, it feels like there is a hand within my body that is grabbing my insides and squeezing. There is also a stabbing nerve pain going from about halfway into the thickness of my torso shooting to the back on my left side.

As for chronic pain, the squeezing pain and shooting pain can come and go every so often. But when walking or doing any physical activity it kind of feels like there’s a small four-square ball bouncing around inside me.

As some of you know, I have broken my leg in the past. In my opinion, a broken leg hurts less than acute pancreatitis pain. A broken leg doesn’t really hurt that much unless someone moves it for you. But if it’s immobilized or you’re not moving it, it’s not really a problem other than it’s throbbing a lot.

So… as the medical people like to say, “What is your pain level on a scale from 1-10?”

10: Worst pancreatitis pain.

9: Someone moving my damn broken leg. That asshole.

8: Seeing your face. Oh snap.

7: Watching the White Sox’s playoff hopes slip away.

6: Stabbing pancreatitis pain.

5: Medium pancreatitis pain.

4: Spraining my thumb. That asshole.

3: Chronic pancreatitis pain.

2: Chronic pancreatitis pain.

1: A hangnail.

I think my frame of references are a little messed up. Whatever. It’s all relative anyway.
Q: I know this awesome local gastro guy you should go see!

Thank you for the recommendation, but I’ve already seen some of the best at Northwestern Hospital. Right now, the guy I’m seeing at Mayo, Dr. Chari is like a pancreas super specialist. Great doctor. Very accommodating and explains what is going on very well. The doctor performing my procedures is Dr. Barron, specifically recommended to me by my cousin (who is also a Gastroenterologist in Minnesota) AND Dr. Chari (who my cousin also recommended). I feel very comfortable in the care of these people as they have discussed numerous options with me while doctors back in Chicago (even at Northwestern) were sort of stumped as to the next steps of treatment.

However, I AM looking for a new primary care physician as I have come to the conclusion that my current doctor absolutely sucks. So if you know of one who preferably has an internist background please let me know. There has been one doctor that has been recommended to me recently but she is booked and can not handle any more patients.

So this is me, or rather, a slice of me.

The part I highlighted is my pancreas. Calcifications of the pancreas are indicated by the white spots on the CT scan. Do you notice how the pancreas is pretty much touching everything around it? It’s not supposed to, it’s pushing on other organs in my body because of the inflammation. My previous CT scan during an attack two months earlier did not display anything close to that degree of inflammtion. Even though it was inflamed before, the pancreas was small enough to display a nice spacious black border around it. There’s no border in the above picture which explains why this attack was much more painful than previous ones and took a lot longer to get back to “normal” size.

Video!

Video of my CT scan.

The video shows my body slicewise going from high to low. You can make out the pancreas as it comes into view and get a nice look at the pancreatic ducts (main and branches) as they pass by. The video gives a more 3D representation of my pancreas as you can see how kind of scattered some of those calcifications are. You’ll notice that it kind of looks like fireworks going off in the head and tail end of my pancreas.

Q: Can you have all those calcifications removed?

Not really. Anyway, that doesn’t really solve anything. While those calcifications may impede the ducts and cause backup of fluids in my pancreas, removing the calcifications doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t come back. Besides, most of the blockage is in the hard to reach branches of the ducts and not in the main duct.
Q: What’s next?

Well, on Friday July 28th, I go back to Mayo to have my stent removed. This is the second time I’ve had a stent put in me. (First time was a few summers ago at Northwestern.) The process of removing a stent isn’t a surgery persay, it’s more of a procedure. I don’t get cut up as they do all the work by coming in through my mouth.

Order of things as of right now…
1. Removal of stent. Wait to see how my pancreas reacts. If within a couple weeks it’s okay, then great. If not….

2. Consideration of nerveblocking the pain. Obviously this is a catch 22, b/c how can I tell something is wrong with my pancreas if I can’t feel the pain? I’m very dubious about this one.

3. Consideraton of filleting the pancreas. This is actual cut me open slice me up and make me a sandwich surgery. It is basically what it says, fillet the pancreas so it can drain better. Oh yeah they take a piece of my instestine and attach it to the pancreas to act as a funnel into the stomach.

Q: Eh… I expected more pics and videos. What happened?

To be honest the other x-rays / MRI’s / CT scans weren’t very interesting images. The most notable thing about the images was that the CT scan at Mayo revealed a LOT more detail than even the MRI images from Good Samaritan, let alone the CT scan images. I guess that just shows how much better the equipment is over there. Although, I’ll take Good Samaritan nurses any day over the Mayo nurses. Any damn day of the week. They’re just more skilled. Period. I’ll eventually just post some more pictures of my pancreas on my flickr for my own poops and giggles.
Okay, I actually have to leave in a half hour for Mayo but I know there are still a few questions that I am repeatedly asked that I did not put down here for lack of time or remembering. But before I leave I’d just like to thank everyone who has visited, called, IMed, or showed concern in any sort of way. I really truly appreciate those gestures no matter how big or small.

See you bitches on the flip side.

Yes. I have been absent for a while. A post every other day is my goal. Starting two days from now.

-I start work on Monday. But seeing as how I’m up at this ungodly hour, I’m a bit skeptical of my ability to conform to a normal sleep schedule.
-I’m supposed to be meeting a friend Sunday afternoon to study for the FE exam. I don’t think I’ll be in tip top mental acuity for that either.
-Why can’t I find an hd pack for the damn xbox so I can play my games in 720p and fully appreciate the SXRD.
-Xbox 360 is pretty much scratched off my list of must buy. Ps3 just blows it out the water it seems. Plus 360 doesn’t look all that much better than the current xbox. Although those shitty lcd screens that Microsoft chose to “show off/display” their new system in stores doesn’t exactly help. I agree with Christian when he commented on how shitty lcd’s are in general for gaming.
-If not for the long awaited release of “24: The Game” I would have sold my ps2 and all it’s wonderful accessories by now. What a disappointing system. In fact, I would rather have a second xbox then that piece of shit sitting in my den.
-I’ve been looking for ergonomic dumbbells like the fat handle ones they have at the local gym b/c I got early arthritis in my thumb. But recently I came up with the idea of wrapping a towel around the dumbell handle to make it fatter so maybe I’ll try that out.
-I have to schedule an appointment for a second opinion from a hand specialist. For future reference, if you ever see a Chicago magazine with a listing of “The Best Doctors in Chicago” don’t believe it. I went to the guy who was listed as the “best” hand specialist of 2002. He took down my symptoms, felt up my thumb for a bit, then told me I had early arthritis. No further instructions whatsoever. He didn’t even look at an x-ray nor did he recommend one. No advice on what to do about it. Sorry, that just plain sucks. If it’s nothing, and I just need to increase my thumb strength, then recommend physical therapy or give me some exercises to do at home. If there’s a possibility of something, then how about an x-ray or an mri or something. If it’s truly nothing and you think it’s in my head (which it’s not, otherwise I wouldn’t have to ice my hand down during intense matches of Soul Calibur or Pokemon Puzzle League. As cT can attest, it can make the difference b/t a blowout and a good competitive battle.), then dont’ tell me it’s early arthritis and tell me it’s nothing. Don’t just give me NOTHING. I tried to get some info out of him but it was seriously like pulling teeth. I wonder who he paid off to get onto that list. Next time I’ll go to a doctor who is more meticulous. Someone young and asian.
-Doctor’s appointments are nearly impossible to schedule once you start work.
-I notice I tend to blog more if I have just taken some meds.
-I have to find more synonyms for “crazy.” …. ridiculous, preposterous, insane, out of control, impossible… any more?
-My right ankle progress isn’t going as fast as I’d hoped. Good news is mundane acitivies such as mall shopping don’t cause as much physical discomfort as it used to. My range of motion and strength have improved. However, half an hour on a stationary bike makes it tough to walk around the next day. No good. PT guy says no running yet. Physical Therapy guy says I should get an mri on my ankle. I’m not so sure about that. I think I’ll see how PT goes for a little while longer. PT guy also says I should massage the fuck out of my scar. Tolerable activity painwise, but who exactly likes to keep inflicting pain on themselves?
-I love the harmony 659 remote control.
-I think I may have buyer’s remorse about a certain case I just bought. Too late to do anything about it though.
-I just spent 600 dollars on work clothes. That’s the norm right? It’s acceptable for me I think because without the specialty store advice I’d probably come to work in a football jersey and a backwards Illini hat.
-What to get with my first paycheck?
*Start paying off some debts, I suppose. (yeah ct, that includes you.)
*Scooba (like a roomba, but for wood floors)
*Robomow? (like a scooba, but for lawns)
*Mac mini?
*Desk (current desk on verge of collapsing)
*Dresser (current dresser has half of the drawers broken)
*Belkin pre-N router
*something for each member of the family… I’ll figure out what I can afford later.
*White Sox 13 game ticket package! Woohoo!
-I gotta register for the World Cup ticket lottery.
-The notion that I am going to take part in the design of a real world product sounds crazy/insane/ridiculous to me.
-I want to take a night class at the local community college but I just don’t think I have time for that.
-I think I’m starting to like indie music a lot more than I ever imagined. I credit Death Cab for Cutie for cracking the door open. I attribute the O.C. soundtracks 1 through 5 for swinging that door open. And I thank the 1/13/06 concert with The Spinto Band and the 1900’s for putting the door stop down. BUT if I ever start dressing emo, so help me God I will scoop out my eyes with a melonballer and put my testicles in my eye sockets.
-24 still rules. A certain former roommate of mine refuses to even give this show a try. For some reason this offends me.
-I think there’s only one place I would consider moving to. That’s San Francisco. Maybe in three years.
-My top row of teeth is starting to spread out more than I’d like. I may have to go to invisalign.
-My little brother will soon surpass my piano skills if he hasn’t already. My little sister passed me long ago.
-I wonder what percentage of students at UIUC took some sort of academic steroids, like adderall or something.
-I’m going to have to cut back on poker for a while, like none of it. At least until after the FE.
-Wasn’t I supposed to volunteer or something?
-Whatever.

-I’m finally getting sleepy.

I’m a what now?

I took the job. This opportunity will provide me the means to endeavor on adventures like “White Sox Ticket Package incl. Cubs Game!” and “World Cup Twenty-Oh-Six!” and the “Annual Random Weekend Trip to Your Choice of Any U.S. Gambling City!”

But first, I got some mad bills to pay. Car, car insurance, helping Mom (read: payback portions of tuition), and unknown amounts of medical bills. Huzzzah!

I am but a petal on the rose of design.
Soon it will bloom and the world will be mine.

Muahaha.

Here are the images that pop up when I google “Mechanical Engineer.”


Hotttt!

Apparently the picture below depicts what MechE’s do….

That’s just sick.
Oh yeah. I can’t waaaaaaait to meet my coworkers.

This is gonna be awesome.

A fond memory is a tough yardstick to live by.

Slight oversight on my part to not allow commenting. Haha, wow. Allan you son of a bitch.

I took 10 mg of Zyrtec a couple days ago. My siblings are wondering where dinner is.

Let me tell you, if I ever take Zyrtec you should expect to not see a lucid Allan for two days. I’m surprised I made it back home driving the other night with all the brownouts I was having (occured every few stoplights and nearly every stretch of straight road for a grand total of seven or so brownouts). The stuff practically induces narcolepsy.

And now, a Zyrtec web advertisement…

You see that? That guy is about to fall asleep!

The crappy part is that I don’t even feel rested after a bajillion hours of sleep. I think it’s time to go for slow release or 5mg (doesn’t work as well methinks).

They’re like myspace comments for adults.

Seems like this Christmas is, and I choose my words carefully, less celeberatory than in the past.

Although I thought things would be looking up this year (especially since I have graduated and am no longer burdening my mother so heavily with tuition and board) so far its turning into a holiday season that has seen better times. My mom and Lolo (her dad, my grampa for the non filipinos) went to the Philippines for the three weeks following Thanksgiving leaving me to look after my sibs and the house. My sibs and I decorated the inside as best we could, but missed our opporunity to put up outdoor decorations while it was warm outside. Based on my observations, looks like everyone in our cul de sac and most of the neighborhood missed out too. My brother offhandedly said that Christmas hasn’t been this unfestive for years.

One of my many aunts has moved to San Diego and my cousins are starting to build their own families, beginning to split time b/t the DePaz clan and the spouse clan. The extended family I grew up with is starting to fracture off. Instead of each holiday celebration getting bigger with each newborn baby, it seems to get smaller every year. I made sure to spend some quality time with cousin’s kids this Christmas, because eventually when everyone does go their seperate ways and begins to lead their own lives, I want them to remember who their Tito Allan was.

Even the cousin I felt closest to while growing up has changed. I feel like I hardly know him now. He doesn’t seem to care that from now on his obligations will force him to live far away from his immediate and extended family. Even when he has the opportunity to list his preferred air force bases to work at, he basically listed every base but the one in St. Louis. That’s the one closest not only to Chicago, but to his younger brother who is attending college in Chambana. Since the Air Force forces you to move every so often, working at a base he doesn’t like to be closer to his brother would only be a temporary trade off anyway. At the very least, his younger brother has to be miffed at this.

But the DePaz’s (Dad’s side, pretty much all in chicago area) are minor compared to my mom’s side, the Almirols (all in the Philippines). My mom came back from vacation on the 17th but seemed glassed over and emotionless the past week. The whole reason she went to the Philippines without the kids is so she could patch up over a decade of squabbling between her sane brother and her “crazy” brothers (who refuse to speak to the sane one) back home. She was unsuccessful. It got so bad that my Lolo apparently said (translated roughly and shaking with anger) to the crazy brothers, “How many years do I have left on this earth? How often does Mila come to visit? If you cannot put aside your childishness now, then you will never do so. When I die and if you guys do not show up to the funeral because you do not want to see your brother, it will not be me who will feel something missing.” After telling me that quote from my Lolo, my mom got this pensive look on her face and asked rhetorically “How did I turn out well when my brothers are complete idiots?” Well, at least I think it was a rhetoric question.

Staring blankly out the rain dotted passenger window of my GTI on the way to this year’s DePaz Christmas Eve party, my Mom just randomly said, “This is the worst Christmas ever.” I don’t think she really believes that, because I could easily think of one holiday season worse than this, namely 2001. I think she was talking about her family. Or maybe she was talking about the shitty weather. The dreary rain mist coming down that night was hardly fitting Christmas Eve weather, but for Christmas Eve 2005 I think my mom felt the weather was strangely appropriate. I think we both did.